YOU CANNOT FAIL

You Cannot Fail, a book I have been wanting since it came out last fall, a great friend of mine got for me for my birthday this past month. When I got it in the mail I was shocked she remembered that I wanted that book. I had already read the first page by the time I was closing my front door. I couldn't wait to read the book from cover to cover. Hoped into bed and started reading, its a simple read about 20 pages or so, but in those 20 pages, I reflected back on my life in a way that I had never done before. I finally grasped the idea that I was "different" than everyone else. As Jerry Cahill explained, "I went to bed later than everyone else and woke up before everyone else". I learned that as a person who has CF I have to work harder than everyone else. I have to stick to my plan, my routine and my order. Maybe that's why I am so organized and a perfectionist about every aspect in my life. I took a step back and realized how much I have accomplished with such obstacles that have been thrown my way. I have never given up, I have never backed down, I have always done what I wanted, I have lived my life as if it were my last day. I learned that CFers are all composed of the same attributes, we take each day as it comes, we live each day as if it were our last, we try to make a difference in others lives, we are outgoing, fun, STRONG, independent, spontaneous, fighters, problem solvers, and try to take on the world and for the most part succeed. Nothing ever seems to BIG to handle and having a terminally ill disease gives us the attitude we need to survive. Despite not only having CF, I was faced with many other obstacles in my life, divorced parents, multiple schools, an absent father, depression, torn apart families, deaths, supporting myself at a young age, trying to make friends, and learning about life the hard way ALL while trying to figure out how to take care of a disease not many knew much about. I look back and hate the fact I wasn't given the option to take full care of myself because of the other obstacles that were standing in my way, but I have never once given up on all that. I have pulled through and have finally seen the rainbow on my side. While reading this book I realized how proud of myself I was, if no one was going to tell me, I was going to tell myself and I made a promise to continue to tell myself how proud I am of me everyday, because what I have gone through to what I have become are two totally different beings. While reading this book I also realized that I have not hit the tip of the iceberg of what Cystic Fibrosis will soon do to my body. I have been so lucky in my struggle with CF, although I know that one day CF will tear me apart inside and this will reflect on the outside however, I know I am ready whenever that time comes to face CF head on with the battles and struggles it will create. I know I won't give up easily and I won't go down without a fight, but I know I have come such a long way and have such a long way to go. I know that every day I wake up there is a new struggle to over come but with the constant attitude that I cannot give up, that I have no other option but to face the issues, I know that I will get through whatever God thinks I can handle. I know that there is nothing too big for a CFer like me to knock back down.